I've been flip flopping about this and in the end I came to a happy conclusion. And on a side note, at first I wanted to draw some more before I posted a new journal so people will get to see more art. I did edit the comic, but wanted to post this first. In short, for all those who occasionally feel down and out about your art I hope this helps you.




Sounds like common sense? Go on to the....


Let me explain that pesky little thing called artistic self esteem. There seems to be an artistic Murphy's Law that whenever an artist initially loves their artwork that with time they will eventually end up hating it. Whether through a damning critique, seeing someone else's amazing artstyle, or just nitpicking at their own artwork to death, artists almost always find themselves loathing their artwork at one point in time. As time goes on, after lots of tutorial searching and collecting, some find themselves feeling their art no longer "does it" for them and for a short or long period of time they spin into this cycle of "my art sucks, what am I doing fooling myself I can be a professional, etc. etc."

For a while I was able to delay most of this by not getting into a competition of sorts, and also to concentrate more on learning than feedback, but honestly a part of me was not enjoying the artistic experience as much as I knew I could and I knew this was why.

After a lot of soul searching I realized something about myself and coincidentally many artists. That I always have this feeling, this LACK of something that I really want to have but can never get enough of. For myself and other artists it is visual, and it is why many artists want to draw in the first place.

My infatuation should be obvious, of course. I want to read and see more big cats and animal comics and the ones out there weren't feeding this craving fast enough. The art for those few comics that are around are wonderful but I am ravenous and always want more. So much more the artists cannot humanly fulfill my quota. A long time ago, it used to be that a second's worth of imagination was good enough to conjure up an image of an animal story. Now, not even ten comics can satisfy my artistic curiousity and I realized I can no longer be satisfied in simple means.

The desire has grown since and I even finished reading books about animals (which FYI is VERY unusual as I am not an avid book reader). Because of the lack of availability, I no longer cared how long the story was, nor how many times I read it. I just wanted to see the comic, see the story and any art and linger on it. To really observe it and to actually experience it.

More than ever I wanted to see the foliage on the trees, I wanted to see the sinews of a feline flexing in the heat of the hunt, and I wanted to linger on the art piece and sense the movement. Sense being inside the story and experiencing the action, rather than being a simple bystander.

And that is when it struck me.





No longer is there an "I must draw better than <insert name, your old art, etc>" but a simple and excited "I want to see this and I'm driven to create it". This often drives people to commission, to trade, to request, to collaborate and sometimes to create something totally new. But this drive, this want, and the satisfaction of getting what you want is what should be every artists' primary drive, yet it is often not. Money, popularity, reaching for an amazing skill or technique, and even page views have become the ultimate goal for many.

Eventually yes I will have to find some way to support my comic. But in the end I've realized what I was missing all along. Understanding what I truly wanted and that is, a fun animal comic.

All along I was trying to make business sense out of art sense, and as a result ignored the fact I, and many others are ravenous in our desire to simply SEE a comic like the one we desired (forget the nitty gritty bis about art and paneling, just draw an animal talking already!!!).



Now you're at the end of this long wordy journal, there is only one last thing to do. Ask yourself:


If you know the answer, you're already blessed with a strong drive and motivation that you must listen to if you want to successfully art. Those who are highly motivated and successful are not only curious but also don't second guess their motivations nor put down their inner goals and desires.

So while the technique can always be improved, the heart and soul of the matter is flawless.

In other words...